Saturday, December 31, 2011

this is my 400th...

She’s no longer 20 something girl, she spend more time at works than anything else, still struggling to commit with her weekend study which mean no holidays, no balik kg on every other weekend like always and no lazy Sunday morning, she won’t have to visit the Tiffany anytime soon and her biggest problem is her constant need to worries and thinking about everything under the sun, like why that man walking in the rain alone in the middle of the night? Did he have a place to go? etc... 

p/s; apart from that big kitchen, I also want our house to be without any tv. Why? I’m a tv junkie…

awkward moments

I’m a bit clumsy at times especially in front of a cute guy… LOL! I also love talking to myself or often I found myself rhyming a song a bit louder than I’ve supposed.

I was walking the other day, noticed ‘D’ car and sort of hye-ing it complete with my chirpy face expression. Little did I know that there was a guy walking towards me and an uncle standing not so far from me, facing my direction. 

I was walking towards my apartment, rhyming some malay-old rock song… it a bit too loud but it was too late because there was a guy walking behind me and passed by me while I was slowing down my volume… luckily we did not share the lift. 

Passed by a stall selling fruits once I paid for my roti canai the other morning. Few second later, the container full with fruits dropped with a big bang. I looked back and so few people inside the HCC. Also, a guy ahead of me… shocked as I am. Felt they were staring at me rather that the container... LOL! I was asking myself ‘did I do that?’ “I guess it was because of the wind...” I’ve said to the guy… luckily he agreed with me. And luckily it was quite windy at that time… 

While having a catch up session with someone, he paused for my response or comments or anything. But, I couldn’t find any words to response. So, I just smiled. 

Felt like a guy was staring at me when I was walking by myself. Then, he accidently dropped his keys when I caught his eyes. Damn!

Friday, December 30, 2011

i did it son!

Did something which if it works, I could tell my children about. InsyaAllah. 

 What was it about? About a girl, a deli and a cup of coffee.

dec 30th, 2011

Someone made me cry when he recalled back one accident where I cried in front of a stranger because of some mistake done by someone else.

 I’ve listen to Avril’s new single over and over again because I could relate to it so damn much… damn, damn, damn… 

I hate when I have to deal with unmarried man. 

 Met someone… made me thinking is it me or is it not me? Am I suck or it’s suck that I’m in. maybe, one fine day… right now, the truth maybe too much for my shoulder… 

There are others who have a tougher life than I am… indeed! 

I hate capitalist! 

This spot I’m in now, won’t leave me. I have to pick up whatever I have left behind; get up because Houston won’t come to me either.

and waiting for SMS which not even written… yet! 

Thursday, December 29, 2011


Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you 
For everything I just couldn't do 
And I've hurt myself by hurting you 
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit 
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh 
Would you tell me I was wrong? 
Would you help me understand? 
Are you looking down upon me? 
Are you proud of who I am? 
There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance 
To look into your eyes and see you looking back 
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do 
And I've hurt myself, oh 
If I had just one more day 
I would tell you how much that 
I've missed you 
Since you've been away...

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

it’s not about chocolate…

...or heels or foods. It about something I heart as much as I hearts chocolate and heels. 

Never I say no or decline ‘it’. ‘It’ melts my heart every time someone makes me such offer. Just the other day, a friend text me. And asked me, weather I’m interested to or not to. To my surprise, I said no. I guess my heart bypass my mind and make the decision itself. It was NO and that was it. 

It occurred to me whether I’m now at a stage where it doesn’t matter anymore… I hope not!  

Literally I realize that he must be some man… or else my yours truly won’t make such decision.

hikayat yusuf izuddin

Thanks for waking me up on every morning when I felt college is suck 
Thanks for checking me up when I was not there… my friends told me, LOL! 
Thanks to the white little thing you drove around, it told me that you were around. 
I was so closed to tell you that it was me… 
I was so damn closed to connect all the dot when she comes… 
It funny, how you always with someone… always! 
With you, I do believe when they said that life is so long that we will meet again… don’t worry, I’ll found you just like the other day. 
Or could this be the closure I’ve delayed many times ago… I hope. 
For those fond memories and unspoken words, merci! 

again… about my wedding


For whatever it’s, there is a chance of it to happen. 

 If I ever going to, I dream for a very simple reception. Skip the dais, the hantaran, bersanding, and everything which is over-rated. But, if ever the family still wants a customary reception, I want to choose what I’ll be getting for the hantaran. Be it 5 or 7 or 9, I want Louboutin, Yves Saint Laurent, Jessicca Simpson, Aldo, Marc Jacob and maybe something from that turquoise house. 

 Then, I’ll be the happiest shoes collector… opssss!!!

Friday, December 23, 2011

di antara Awie dan Bob Lokman…

For those who do not know who is Awie or Bob Lokman, please ask my prince charming. And please ask him what happened between the two as well.

We are busy digging and beautifying our own grave we didn’t realize we took others’ shit as well with us. But not to Bob Lokman.

The two of them used to sail in the same boat. Until Bob decide to sail a in much better boat. And being a ‘ur s*** is my  s***’ person, he told Awie that his boat is definitely better. Being ‘my s*** is my damn fishing s***’ person, Awie got so pissed off. And the rest is history. 

Awie is a great example how we were raised. Advices often misinterpret as busy body. We were told not to meddle in others business especially when religious is concern. Why? Because the matter of concern is so damn sensitive. I personally think we need a lot more people like Bob, who not afraid of expressing his mind, with whatever history he has.

There, I was… blue and black
How I wish you were there.
Couldn’t be there when there’s no sight of you
I’m here…
Standing on my two feet and
I wish you were right. 

Thursday, December 08, 2011


They said lightning won’t strike a place twice… they might be wrong.

They said money won’t make you happy… it surely does!

If you let iPhone define where you stand in the crowd, you definitely need to open your eyes a little bit more.

Thanks to capitalism, rain is not as fun as yesteryear's.

The richer are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer are not just a saying.

Worry won’t take you anywhere but it does left some line on your face.

The best things ever happen in my life are when He answered when I called and He gave when I asked.

Men who need more than enough sign are literally not worth a headache.

I believe that life is long and I’ll see you again when I’ll see you again.

I believe it’s impossible to keep your feet on the ground when you reach for the skies…

I have less than 100 hours to satisfy few hungry hearts, to hold whatever balance of esteem I still have and to actually make wise the weekends I’ve spend at school.

Monday, December 05, 2011

-colon-apostrophe-open bracket-

Life is like a wheel… no matter who you are. Sometimes you are up, and sometimes you are down. Sometimes you’ll be doing great and sometimes you’ll mess up. But remember, you are always beautiful. All the great people do have their downward moments too.

I’ve never been so messed up. I’ve never been liabilities to anybody. So far, I could proudly say that I’ve been a good daughter and kind of nice sister to have. I give my sit to the needy. I never had relationship turn enemy with any of my friends. Guest enough with bragging about how sweet I am.LOL!! I’m just justifying that I’m kind of an average living soul.

Now, I’m a liability to myself. My sub-conscious can’t feel and my conscious can’t think. That was the worst one could ever be, I’ve supposed. I kind of lost with all the madness evolved around me. Some was purposely and some was beyond me. 

I couldn’t even talk to Him. :’(  

I guess this is where the light goes dim and I’m sliding from whatever I’ve hold on for. If sinking was all I needed to rise, and then sink I shall.

All the nice girl things above have one exception. There is someone who had years, tolerantly copes with my not so proud attitude… and still coping, he is.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

reminder, a rather...

I’m in a deep shipt… it’s a mess or I’m a mess. It was long due I’ve supposed.

Too many bad consequences, could it be because I’m here when I’m supposed not to be here. Could it be different if I’ve made changes I’m suppose to make but could it led me to this mess anyway?

I’ve never question… now I didn’t know what to ask because nothing seems alright.

Houston is just a dream… this mess, like it or not need to be un-messed!