Monday, March 26, 2012

Then, again...

Life is a bit mess right now, for few months to come and until He only know when... but, if ever I’ve given chances to life someone else life or to turn back time, I won’t for whatever sake it is.

I’ve decided... not to run... not because I’m wearing my favourite you know what... but I want to take this walk... didn’t know where it will lead or what it will bring but I’m all for it... ‘cause I’ve told myself that we’ve been through the bad-est day ever, so no other day will be that bad or as bad... it maybe the second bad day but we’ll survive...

And he said “what are you waiting for then? I don’t know but I’m quite sure you will feel more settle”.  I didn’t say thanks back then but thank you...

So, here I am Mr.Darcy... 

Thursday, March 15, 2012

about yesterday...

My Wednesday supposed to be simple... indulging the red velvet-ans I’ve been craving since Monday. It should be the highlight of the day... period.

But, it turns into wordless Wednesday... not because it was dull but because I don’t have word to describe it. 

I took the wrong exit though I knew I should take the other. Driving when the traffic light was still red caused I thought I saw it was green.  Gave the land office very un-professional comment during the meeting... my bad caused i’m not well prepared for the meeting. Caused the other driver to reserve and change to the other toll lane caused I thought I saw “tunai & T & Go” but it was for T & Go only. Gave my lecturer a blur face expression when he asked question relates to the lecture he just gave last Saturday. Totally have no idea of what he was talking about. Sorry Sir! 

Then, my red velvet-ans! Having it stored in the office refrigerator because somebody purposely or not purposely ruined my most awaited Wednesday. DAMN! 

It's Thursday... It’s almost noon and I haven’t touched any of the cup-pies, afraid of any chances that may kill the thought I have for it.  

Monday, March 12, 2012


In my own yard… or in my own dream… I’m just confetti. Scattered around and stepped by the passers-by. Not material. 

Confetti… I’m.

I felt like He does not love me… or He hate me or He just angry with me. Make me felt like useless confetti. 

He never neglects, hate or dis-love me, or anyone… angry maybe. 

It’s the confetti… waiting to be swept away.

Friday, March 09, 2012

again, running...

I’ve ran before… and before and before. It was basically the right-est thing to do, as far as me and me alone was concerned. Yes! I’m whatever I’m. Period.

All along, I’ve been running in my running shoes thus it make the running felt right and comfort. No looking back and such. Simple, again for me and me alone!

Now, with my favourite heel… I’m at the ‘get set’ stage and hoping they did not blow the whistle because I’m so determine to run.  For whatever sake I’m running from because I’ll be running at nothing. 

If I ever run again, I guess it won’t felt right or comfort because surely it will rain. 

And Mr.Darcy, is that really you there? ‘Cause something is faded…

Monday, March 05, 2012

my can’t-help-it-rudeness

Hye, my name is Sid, and if ever you saw me someplace and smile to me but I didn’t smile back or whatever, it’s because I didn’t really notice you even if my body language suggest that I am but I’m not. 

I got lots of complain… since long time ago. I’m not trying to avoid you or I hate you or anything… it just I don’t know how to describe it. Maybe science can tell, but I don’t know how to ask Mr.Google about it. 

It may take the other person more than a smile or grin for me to actually realize they are there and trying to “hye” me. 

It bother me back then but now I just gave them my bestest smile and explain my can’t-help-it-rudeness and hope they understand. Some may find it hard to digest but after few “can’t-help-it-rudeness” events, they believe it I guess because a sweet girl like me won’t purposely act in such way right? 

But, it would be a different story if the other person is Mr.Clooney….