Tuesday, June 26, 2012

fifteen again...

This was supposed to be written on June 20th... I'm literally fifteen again this year. Can't remember how was the feeling fifteen years ago but today...  

I have plan for this very day... until the ACCA decided to have P1 paper on this very day. It was like they knew about my plan.  

The plan was simple; me, Tiffany and Mr.Darcy...  

Things did not happened the way I’ve planned it to be... thus, I don’t think I deserve any Tiffany yet... unless Mr. Darcy want me to have any Tiffany of my choice... in my dream, maybe!  So, it will be me and Mr.Darcy. 

I’m lying if I said I didn’t expect anything from him. I did expecting something from him. But thanks to his job, I was left with expectation. I’m lying if I said I’m not sad because it did make me think of all those nonsense he didn’t want to hear again and again. 

But, I’ve learnt from those expectations and he is becoming less of a stranger by days.  

Nothing or something, I have my Mr.Darcy on this very day... it was the greatest gift I could ever had. 

Friday, June 22, 2012

love letter....


because I love doing nothing and having nothing... literally! 

the postcard and the stickers I get from Wanie's kitchen cabinet... hope she don't mind cos she might not noticed it was there... 


Sunday, June 17, 2012

muffin for tomorrow...

This is an entry for tomorrow…. When the kids are taking their afternoon nap, when Mr.Darcy is watching his current favourite series… and while I’m waiting for the muffin to smell like a delicious muffin.  

Tomorrow and the day after it were supposed to be an exam day. Which I will surely attended. Did I Mr.Darcy? I was supposed to do some revision or refreshment on the syllabus. But, I yawn every time I open the book. Today had been a great day. Eating, shopping and more foods. What’s not to love right? But it was not a good weeks and months. If I put everything together, I’ll may losing it but He keeps me together.

I haven’t run since Mr.Darcy… doesn’t remember how the feeling is when the run is over. I have so many reasons to run again… I want to run but Mr.Darcy said he won’t run after me if I ever run. Sometimes I wonder if he really meant what he said. Maybe I should just run until I forgot what and why I’m running.  

I guess the muffin is ready now!  

June 17th, 1017 pm

Saturday, June 16, 2012

vulnerability

I hate love...
I hate starting a relationship...
'cause for every start, there's an end...
and for every love, there'll be a lost...

I want to believe that Mr.Darcy can love me until the rainbow's gone,
but I'm always prepared... for he may say goodbye tomorrow...

I always think that no man could love me enough
to stay forever..
because I'm so vulnerable... to my own feeling. 

p/s; when a woman said she hates so so much, she meant the other way around...   


Wednesday, June 13, 2012

always...


Because when the sun is setting,

When I fell on my knees,

After the games or the boys,

Or when the spring is over,

You will always be there...

Always...

Friday, June 08, 2012

flat tyre 2.0


I can at least pretend to be strong, independent, hard headed... I can pretend that I couldn’t care less... but I can’t, just can’t change a flat tyre... saw my brother done it before... thus, I believe I can’t in million years change a flat tyre.

And that morning, one of the tyres caused me to imagine doing something which I won’t do. “Walking back to my place from where I’m at, leaving the flat tyre... walking thousands step, crying... rain or shine caused I can’t change a flat tyre because I’m too selfish to ask for help”. I just hate the feeling of causing others to sweat because of me. Yes! I’m damn good at having all those nonsense thought. That something Mr.Darcy would 1000% agree with.

In the end the help does come. Because there are some who knew that behind the hard headed, cheerful girl is a helpless girl who not just can’t change a flat tyre but can’t even tell if she was driving with a flat tyre. 

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

and she went away...


She finally left. There are so many things unsaid but she’s gone.
...................
All I want for her to know is I’m bless having you in my life. Thanks for everything said and done. 

Hope to see you around.


love, 
-Miss D-